Every time you chat me up to ask something, a kitten dies.

Friend: Hi! 

Me: Hey! Ssup?

Friend: Nm..js busy wid coll prjct

Me: Oh! same here. How much are you done with it?

Friend: i ws out…nw bck n full form. wrkng nw.

Me: oh! ok. All the best for it.

Friend: Thnks. wt else?

Me: Nothing else. You?

Friend: Nah..ntg..do you knw wens coll reopening?

(I get pissed off at this question)

Me: No mate, no idea.

(Silence)

……………………………….

Have a look at the chat above. Has this ever happened to you? I am sure it has. You are checking your emails, facebook updates, etc. and someone pops up on your chat box and says hi. You think they are genuinely  trying to keep in touch. You reply back with the usual hi’s and hello’s and what’s up’s  because you did join a social network to keep in touch right? and you did add them to your email messenger list for the same reason didn’t you? To keep in touch? As soon as you reply to such people,  genuinely thinking that this will lead to a good, satisfying, intellectual conversation, your bubble bursts with a loud pop. Your castle in the air falls with a thud. You realize how stupid have you been to think they want to talk to you! You feel like slapping yourself. Calling yourself a titanic idiot. You regret even replying to such, if i may say so, selfish bastards who chat you up not to talk to you, but get something out of you. They only talk to you because they think they might get some kind of information out of you. That information can be anything like College lectures, timings, etc, etc.

To me that is sick, selfish and totally narcissistic. Call me a fool but there are certain rules of conversation and certain etiquettes that you need to follow if you want to ask something. And the very first (logical) rule is that if you wanna ask something, get to the point and ask it! I will appreciate you much more and not be judgmental about you! By chatting me up with a silly and lame conversation just to ask me a stupid question is something you do with a corrupt policeman and NOT a classmate. You make yourself look like a loser if you do that. 

Such things make me wonder why do people do such a thing? One reason might be that they must be thinking that “If i ask him/her directly, he/she will think that i only talk to them to ask something..so i better chit chat and then quietly slip in my query. That way no one would notice” . Yeah right. Dream on. Are you so Insecure that you need to chat and do a bit of bullshit before you get to the point so that people don’t judge you? If you are then please do not talk to me. And if you are not, then please get to the point.

There are 2-3 people like that on my Facebook and gtalk that do this. I took this chatting up crap for a while now. If you are reading this, do note that your chatting up routine is getting repetitive. If you DO want to chat me up, at least be innovative and try something different! (and you call yourselves management students!) 

So yeah, If you try to chat me up, i am just going to answer your stupid query with a “i don’t know mate” or a “No idea” or a “No clue” (By the way, unlike you, i have a 1000 different ways of saying a simple no). Even though i know it, i will not tell you. Simply because you are a selfish git. Everytime you chat me up to ask something, a kitten dies a horrible death.