Why The Results Don’t Matter

I just became (by the virtue of some luck) a Graduate. But somehow deep inside i don’t feel like one. There are a number of reasons for that. One of the primary reasons is the apathetic behavior of Mumbai University towards its students. I can compare it to one of the many Black Holes in space that keep sucking whatever comes in its way and then throwing it out when nothing is left. MU is like that. It sucks in students. So many students that it cant even handle. And then spits them out after dumbing them down and declares them graduates. I am happy for all who became graduates or are in the process of being one, but just ask yourself one question after becoming one: how much did you ‘learn’ in the process of becoming a graduate?

We all slogged for marks in the internals and the external examinations. We made projects after getting all material online and adding our two cents in it to earn the extra marks. Some even paid for the projects. We made presentations on the basis of what is given in our textbooks. The textbooks are hardly updated. You cant call it a textbook if it is updated every 5-7 years. Even if it is updated, it contains so much useless information that the University has to either omit certain parts and chapters. All this after it is printed and the students have bought the textbooks. The textbooks don’t even get printed on time. And when they do get printed, there are so many authors, that i could buy each authors book and build myself a castle.

Every Tom, Dick and Harry suddenly is an author of a graduation course and tries to sell his textbook to his students because it is ‘better than other authors’ and because ’ you will get a group discount if many of you buy’. Its all about the money for these ‘professors’. 

Then there is the examination itself. In the age of computers where even a 5 year old can handle a computer, only the people at MU cant seem to handle computers. Why does a legitimate student from a legitimate college who has paid proper fees, has given all proof of his existence in this world and all his past education have to sit and fill stupid endless circles with numbers and a black pen just before the exam for which he is not even given 15 minutes of extra time? Is it such a problem to provide an extra 15 minutes? Let me tell you one thing, there is no clarity by the MU on when the students should get the answer sheets before the exams. Some teachers who are kind enough and know it takes time give the sheets as soon as the student enters the classroom, other mindfucks from mars give the paper 5 minutes before the exam is supposed to start because ‘thats the rule’. 

After slogging for weeks on end, the wait for the results starts. There is no clarity on the day and date. The rule book says within 45 days of the examination, the results should be declared. But the illiterate people running MU dont seem to know the rules. They dont care about the students. They dont care if we have to keep everything on hold till they declare the results. They care about finishing their hours of work and go back home. They like to postpone till the very end and as soon as the media starts to report on the delay of the results, they blame the computers. Dear MU, only you seem to have a problem with computers. Either you are living in 1990 or that you have extreme bad luck that whenever you buy a computer, it is always faulty. Grow up MU. Americans landed on the moon in the 60s with less computer power than what you have in your offices right now. 

Finally when we get our results, we are just happy we got it. I asked myself was it really worth it? For me, No. It was not worth it. I put in more efforts to rote what was in the textbook than learning something from it. I feel dumb. I feel outdated. I feel like a MU Graduate.

Pink Floyd put it right:

“When we grew up and went to school,

 There were certain teachers who would hurt the children any way they could.

 We dont need no education

We dont need no thought control
No dark sarcasm in the class room
Teachers leave those kids alone
Hey, teachers! Leave those kids alone!

All in all, it’s just a
Another brick in the wall
All in all, you’re just a
Nother brick in the wall”

Thank You Mumbai University.  Dr. John Wilson must be glad that he is dead right now. The great man founded MU and MU destroyed his legacy. 

Harbor Line Banter 1

I recently started work and have been taking the Harbor line train to Masjid Bunder daily. Even though i go via the first class compartment, there is enough banter to keep me entertained throughout my 20 minute journey on the way to work and back. Sometimes its thoroughly entertaining and worth sharing with everyone. Hence, i thought why not blog about it. So starting today, whenever i hear some really good discussion I will post it under the title ‘Harbor Line Banter’. 

As i entered the first class compartment from Koliwada station, a group of roughly 4-5 gujarati businessmen who seemed to know each other, entered the compartment. They were not more than 38-40 years old. Of all those who entered, one had a freshly bought copy of Mid-Day with the front page report on Osama Bin Laden and how he was put to death. That was enough to get the banter started. The person who had the newspaper was reading it, while the other people started the discussion about what must have happened over the past one day.

“The Pakistani’s must’ve known he (Osama) was there, otherwise how can he live so lavishly?!”

“No, I think Obama just went in with the correct intelligence reports, shot him down and left, It all happened within 40 minutes!” 

“All that is fine, Just see the guts of these Americans. Captured and killed one person who was not in their hands, here we are sitting and can’t even kill those who are already in our hands. Shyaa”

“I was watching the news and they were showing a report about this guy who tweeted the whole thing live unknowingly. He described that one big blast took place and all was silent and then a helicopter crashed”

“Yes i saw that too. He was from Rawalpindi and had come for a vacation to Abbotabad”

“God knows when will these Pakistanis learn. What do they get out of all this? Americans got what they wanted, when will India get Dawood and others. Our government can’t even attack them for fear of a Nuclear attack. What a mad country! (Pakistan)”

Here is my favorite part of the whole conversation.

“I think its all a conspiracy, Obama’s ratings were at an all time low till now. Look at what has happened. His re-election is confirmed in 2012! No one can stop him now!

“These Congress people must be planning the same thing. At the very end of the term, they will pass the lokpal bill, hang Kasab and Afzal Guru and pitch in Rahul Gandhi. Sure shot winning campaign”

“If they are not planning this then at least we should suggest them this idea. At least there won’t be an Advani in contention for Prime Minister. But if (Narendra) Modi comes in, then it will be best”

Gujarat (read Narendra Modi) has suddenly become a role model for all states (read wherever there are gujjus) to emulate. I myself have seen the development going on over there with my own eyes. My native Jamnagar city has transformed into a bustling megapolis with bustling industries and HUGE projects which can put Bombay to shame. Majority of the Gujarati community wants Narendra Modi to continue as Chief Minister of Gujarat. They even want him to be Prime Minister. And just to mention I know of his past and hence won’t discuss that since this is a blogpost about what i heard today in the Bombay local. 

By this time, Masjid Bunder station had arrived and it was time to get down. They all alighted with me and i suddenly realised that 20 minutes had passed by so quickly! Osama’s capture and death was such a huge topic that people in office were also talking about it and discussing it in great detail. Everyone had their own conspiracy theory to tell and share. My dad went on to complain that these idiots (News Channels) kept showing the same thing all day and did not update on the Lokpal bill discussions which were taking place! 

 

“Excuse me, ball please”

When i was a kid, i used to play cricket with my building friends in our compound or the in the next building. It was a ritual to play cricket morning and evening except during school days. During school it used to be either on weekends or during off days. Sometimes even during the afternoon if we had nothing better to do. Every summer this ritual was followed. Nothing stopped us apart from the people who shoo’ed us away if we made too much noise or broke a window or two. We were a group of almost 7 or 8 kids from 2 buildings. Whichever side of the narrow compound we found empty, we used a car tyre as the main stump and a piece of marble for the second, made the teams and started to play.

The rules were always the same. The only thing that came in between was the wall between the two buildings. If anyone hit the ball high or hard, there was a big chance that it would land up in the next building. We either called out to the passers by to give us the ball or sent one person from the batting team to get it as they were just sitting. 

As all of us grew up, we got busy with our lives. Board Exams, College, etc etc. For atleast 3-4 years or more, there was hardly any cricket played in the compound. No banter at all. It felt hollow living here. There always used to be so much commotion and all of a sudden it had all gone away. Even the elderly and the adults acknowledged the same. The same people who complained of us making noise and breaking windows were missing us. Time went on. 

The arguments over runs, wickets, no-balls, wide balls, run-outs, etc made all of it worthwhile. Today i miss those days and i hardly know about the whereabouts of those friends with whom i played apart from a few of them. These memories somehow got deposited in the very back of my mind.

But today, while returning from work, as I was entering my building, a kid from the next building asked ” Excuse me, ball please” while pointing towards the dirty tennis ball which was lying a few feet away from me. As i went to fetch the ball and throw it back to him, all those memories rushed back and i suddenly realised that there were so many times that i must have said the exact same thing to so many people who gladly returned the ball. As I threw the ball back, the kid gladly thanked me and went on with the game. I was once on the other side of the wall. 

I HATE Texting/SMSing!

This comic strip is funny, true and at the same time reflects how Texting/SMSing has taken charge of being a primary mode of communication and how it is affecting our way of communicating to others and how it has changed the dynamics and structure of a conversation literally over its head. Let me be clear here. I am not a big fan of Texting. I hate it. Its the dumbest thing I have seen since Rakhi Sawant’s acting. Texting is more dumbing than India TV’s News. Texting is certainly more Idiotic than Ravindra Jadeja playing cricket. There. I said it. Come and get me.

I recently called (YES. I CALL PEOPLE!) a very good friend of mine to talk and catch up. I shall call this friend ABC. Now, ABC most of the time picks up the call to talk no matter how busy he/she is. I hardly text anyone and prefer calling rather than texting. 

It so happens that ABC, always picks up my call or calls back. But this time, after almost half an hour ABC did not call back. Fair enough. I texted ABC what i wanted to talk about and ended the text with a “call me”. I got a reply about the first part of the text and nothing about the “Call Me”. I replied and again ended the message with a “Call me”. Yet i get a reply that goes a bit like this: “a BIT BUSY.is it ok if i call 2mrw?”. I just saw the bit busy written in Caps , replied “ok.gn”  and slammed my phone on the table. Why I did that, I’ll come to that part later. Many of you may ask, why didn’t I simply call again rather than text? Well, Its ok to call and leave a message and wait for that person to respond. So I waited. 

Now why did i slam my phone down? Because in a way, I was offended. I get that ABC was busy. But why write “BIT BUSY” in capital and send the message? It felt as if im an Airtel telesales executive trying to sell ABC a Sim Card and ABC is shooing me off like a rat. Call me an idiot. Call all this a misunderstanding. But if YOUR Best Friend replied and acted like that with you, I am sure, you’d feel the same.

Now heres something to ponder on. This whole Texting saga between me and ABC lasted 10 minutes give or take. Now imagine if ABC would have picked up the call. The conversation would have hardly lasted 2 minutes?. Maximum 5 minutes? But that was not the case. What point am i trying to prove here? Well, its clearly in front of you!

SMS/Texts are alright for Forwarding Jokes, CID Shayaris and those highly irritating Scroll down messages, informing a mass of people about certain announcements. But thats about it. Beyond that I find calling and talking is a far better option. Because a) a conversation is fast and b) a conversation is complete. When it comes to texting, you not only have a limited space to “talk” but also your conversation is left incomplete if one of the “texters” does not reply or replies late. This is where the whole concept of Texting falls flat on its face. 

So why do people prefer texting and not talking? Because its fast and easy? But so is talking isn’t it? I bet all you texters out there, give me a true reason you love texting and I will better the reason and tell you why Talking wins.

The saying that “Give people an option and they will take it” hold true for this. Give people an option between Texting and talking and a majority chunk will want to text. There will hardly be anyone who would like to sit and have a decent conversation. I am sorry texters but you just cant put everything you have to say in a 160 character long text. It just doesnt work and its pointless to me. And please spare me the replies that say “but you can send an extra long sms”. I’d rather have an Extra long conversation than sit and type on a small idiotic keypad or touchscreen what i want to say. 

Say what you want rather than writing it down in a text. It not only feels great but also is fulfilling. It makes you feel closer to whomever you are talking to. You will “feel” emotions and also make you feel better. A conversation can never be forgotten, but a text chat will be deleted or will lie forgotten in your inbox and will fade away from memory. I can bet you that the most memorable conversations in your life will be a talk and not a text message (Unless you are an exception)

I am not here to preach. Everyone has their own opinions. This one is mine. It completely makes no sense to me as to how can people text important stuff and not talk and also that they can find time to text and not talk when clearly talking is so much faster and easier! 

Perhaps the one the thing I hate the most about Cell Phones is that people reply to a text by a text which is okay, but why do people not pick up a call when they are busy but find time to text back instantly that they are busy?! And even more idiotic and irritating is the fact that people dont pick up but instead text back stating ” Hey..you called?..what happened?”. All this irritates me. If you can reply a text with a text, then why not respond to a call with a call?! 

Meanwhile, as I type my rant, my reply to ABC must be in his/her inbox getting burried under new messages and who knows, ABC may have deleted it after reading it. All I know is that ABC is supposed to call me because He/She texted me stating the same. As I wait, I wonder if He/She will even remember about that He/She texted me about calling the next day. 

I just hope i get to talk to ABC and that we dont end up texting each other. Because not only do i value my friend but also value the conversations more than the texts. 

Every time you chat me up to ask something, a kitten dies.

Friend: Hi! 

Me: Hey! Ssup?

Friend: Nm..js busy wid coll prjct

Me: Oh! same here. How much are you done with it?

Friend: i ws out…nw bck n full form. wrkng nw.

Me: oh! ok. All the best for it.

Friend: Thnks. wt else?

Me: Nothing else. You?

Friend: Nah..ntg..do you knw wens coll reopening?

(I get pissed off at this question)

Me: No mate, no idea.

(Silence)

……………………………….

Have a look at the chat above. Has this ever happened to you? I am sure it has. You are checking your emails, facebook updates, etc. and someone pops up on your chat box and says hi. You think they are genuinely  trying to keep in touch. You reply back with the usual hi’s and hello’s and what’s up’s  because you did join a social network to keep in touch right? and you did add them to your email messenger list for the same reason didn’t you? To keep in touch? As soon as you reply to such people,  genuinely thinking that this will lead to a good, satisfying, intellectual conversation, your bubble bursts with a loud pop. Your castle in the air falls with a thud. You realize how stupid have you been to think they want to talk to you! You feel like slapping yourself. Calling yourself a titanic idiot. You regret even replying to such, if i may say so, selfish bastards who chat you up not to talk to you, but get something out of you. They only talk to you because they think they might get some kind of information out of you. That information can be anything like College lectures, timings, etc, etc.

To me that is sick, selfish and totally narcissistic. Call me a fool but there are certain rules of conversation and certain etiquettes that you need to follow if you want to ask something. And the very first (logical) rule is that if you wanna ask something, get to the point and ask it! I will appreciate you much more and not be judgmental about you! By chatting me up with a silly and lame conversation just to ask me a stupid question is something you do with a corrupt policeman and NOT a classmate. You make yourself look like a loser if you do that. 

Such things make me wonder why do people do such a thing? One reason might be that they must be thinking that “If i ask him/her directly, he/she will think that i only talk to them to ask something..so i better chit chat and then quietly slip in my query. That way no one would notice” . Yeah right. Dream on. Are you so Insecure that you need to chat and do a bit of bullshit before you get to the point so that people don’t judge you? If you are then please do not talk to me. And if you are not, then please get to the point.

There are 2-3 people like that on my Facebook and gtalk that do this. I took this chatting up crap for a while now. If you are reading this, do note that your chatting up routine is getting repetitive. If you DO want to chat me up, at least be innovative and try something different! (and you call yourselves management students!) 

So yeah, If you try to chat me up, i am just going to answer your stupid query with a “i don’t know mate” or a “No idea” or a “No clue” (By the way, unlike you, i have a 1000 different ways of saying a simple no). Even though i know it, i will not tell you. Simply because you are a selfish git. Everytime you chat me up to ask something, a kitten dies a horrible death.

The Two Faces

Over past few days, I have been pondering over Marilyn Monroe’s quote ”If you are gonna be two faced atleast make one of them pretty”. Cheeky thought if you ask me but one that is deep, dark and true. Whoever reads this quote definitely smiles inside because they know its right.

But i found myself asking another question. Are we all two faced? Is there not a single person who is genuine and true? Have we all become hypocrites in one way or the other? Surely, this cannot be true right? In my mind, I for one know its not true. Everyone is not the same and not everyone is a hypocrite.

So what exactly is being “Two Faced” ? According to me (and most of you will agree) being two faced is all about acting differently in different places with different people to benefit from it or benefit from them. One one side for example you will want to proclaim to the world that you are a good friend to someone and at the same time, you will want to backbite the same person you call your friends at the drop of a hat by gossiping, bitching or discussing things about him/her. 

But why do people enjoy such a thing? Why do they indulge in it in the first place? Do we not care of what the other person will feel if he/she comes to know? Or are we too concerned about our “image” to not even care about our friends or family? 

This is something i do not understand and at the end of the day makes me think about people’s intentions. Maybe Marilyn was right, If we are going to be two faced, might as well make and effort to make one of the faces look pretty and good so that there is atleast a false sense of well-being. It maybe a wrong thought but its something we have to live with today.

Let The Child Live

In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play.  ~Friedrich Nietzsche

This quote exemplifies what I feel right now. We all grow up from being kids to being adults and ultimately we grow old. This is life. But the attitude we have as kids, that of being curious, enthusiastic, playful little beings gets lost somewhere in the process of “growing up”. We tend to kill the child in us in the name of being mature. We tend to merge in with the society around us not knowing the fact that we are becoming a part of it. We lose our inner child, become something which we were not. Is this what we call maturity?

Why do people tend to kill the inner child? The reasons are many. But the most common one is that we tend to let go of certain things that are important to us but the society thinks its unimportant and just to be accepted in that society and not be labelled an outcast, we let go. We let go not because we want to, but because we are forced to. This is the one way we kill the child. The other important reason is that if you are passionate about something, or enthusiastic about something, we tend to leave it or are told “not to fly in the air without wings” or things like “Keep your feet on the ground”. In my opinion, onlythe laws of Physics keep us from flying without wings. NOT the society.

We are labelled as crazy, cynical, idiotic, stupid and what not when we show real enthusiasm or real excitement for something that we truly love or truly enjoy. Either we are told to be realistic or are told to pursue something that is more achievable or more easy to get. The wings of our dreams, the same dreams we see when we are kids, are clipped by the society at large. 

In my opinion, unless you dream, nothing will take shape in reality. Nothing will occur. Dreams are there to show you how it can be and not how its impossible. Its very much possible because YOU dreamt it. 

Enthusiasm is something that gives birth to Passion. And its this Passion that takes you forward to quenching your thirst for something that you have been wanting to do all your life. The hunger for success can only be fulfilled by this very passion. The world will think you are crazy or unrealistic or idiotic, but the same world will be after you when you have achieved what you set out for. We should let our inner child take over our passion, enthusiasm and dreams. Then only we will reach atleast halfway to what we have set out for. You will fall, you will fail, but then children never give up.

So let the child live and let him take over yourself, take advice from society but use it only if you deem it right. Nothing is more truer than the child inside you.

The world would be a better place if..

• We all just got along together without any kind of expectations.
• There would be no rising prices and no tons of rotting grain lying in Godowns.
• Times Of India was still a credible newspaper unlike now.
• Broadband Internet would be a legal right like in Finland
• Right Wingers like Shiv Sena, MNS, BJP would lose every election and realise they have no place in the India of today.
• Checking Facebook would not be a priority over checking your email.
• Friends actually met in real life rather than “connecting online”.
• People called back after seeing your missed call/message rather than Text back saying “What happened? You called?” 
• There would be no Text messaging on cell phones. Only a call button. I am Serious about this.
• There would be more trees than buildings and open spaces in Bombay.
• Bombay would still be called Bombay rather than Mumbai.
• People were not forced to learn the local language.
• Taxi/Rickshaw Drivers would never say no and also not cheat people and be civilised.
• India had more High Definition TV channels showing good TV shows and not the crappy ones that are on now.
• Some celebrities stayed away from Twitter like Sherlyn Chopra.
• The Orkutiyas stayed away from Facebook and Twitter.
• Saying No was easy and not guilt ridden as it is now.
• If funding for certain TV shows was completely stopped. Also some movies.
• News Channels reported news.
• Pakistan did not exist.
• American TV shows had same day premieres in India as in other countries.
• Cartoon Network still aired shows from the 90s rather than Japanese Anime.
• India did not play Sri Lanka every 2 weeks.

This is just a rant. Nothing Personal :D. Hope you enjoyed it!